Whoa, that was close

Last night I thought we lost. Or IIIIIIIIIIIIIII lost. Martin sure as hell didn't wake up or get up to help me. I oughtta..... okay I won't say what I wanted to do to him.

So she went to sleep like clockwork at 830ish pm after a warm bath and bottle. I made the mistake of staying awake until 10pm vs going right to bed with her. She knocks out and wakes up at roughly midnight. I get up in my zombie state and warm the bottle. So I grab her, change her diaper as she screams bloody murder. Maya, why on earth do you scream bloody murder in the middle of the night, but in the day, it's all good to clean your booty with cold wipes? Crazy vampire, I swear. So once I'm done feeding her, I put her back in her bassinet and she must have been still awake because the fight begun. She was not having the death swaddle. I decide to be the great mother that I am and ignore her screams and every now and then placing the pacifier in her mouth oh so gently (I really want to ram it in though hahaha jk). So the battle goes on, she screams and wiggles and tries to get out of the swaddle, while I reswaddle her and put the pacifier in her mouth, turn on the soother and turn off the night light. In my sleep deprivation, my mind started to develop an invention, some sort of contraption that would keep the pacifier in her mouth. But every invention that popped in my head led to possibly suffocating a child. Scratch that idea. Shoot, sometimes ducktape comes to mind. LOL. I kid, I kid. But really, you start thinking of all kinds of crazy things when your child won't go RIGHT back to sleep. All I kept thinking too was "Omg, this is what I get for changing routine. She's not exhausted like she usually is and is able and willing to fight!" So to you Maya I say, LET'S FIGHT!! I was so exhausted and half asleep, I thought the oven was on and something was baking and I woke Martin up to tell him "Did you leave the oven on?" hahaha. And he got up to go check if it was on. Damn, MODED!

The battle lasted maybe an hour. at least that's how long it felt. I finally got up, swaddled her and lied her down with two blankets rolls on each side and I think she must've been tired and called it quits. I didn't hear a peep from her for the rest of the night. I got up to use the restroom at around 5am and realized she hadn't woken up. So in the dark, I touch her face softly, enough to feel warmth and not wake her because I had to check and make sure my kid was alright. haha

Ok, it's a hot day and she's fussing because she's tired but startles herself when she's not in a swaddle. I have errands to run but this heat makes me want to join Maya. Good night.