Enjoying this time?

Really? I should? Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this because before long, she'll be a teenager hating me. I'm sorry, wait, I'm not sorry, I am going to be honest here and even be quite blunt but I'd like this time frame to speed up and speed up fast. I don't like teeny tiny babies. I like babies that giggle, wiggle and love you and kiss you back. I want her to walk and talk. I want to see her running around the house and playing with her daddy, wrestling with him and all. This part isn't fun, at all.

And while we are being honest, why do people say that this is the best job on the planet? I mean, yeah, it's rewarding when she smiles at me (finally!) but I don't think it's the best job. I hate having to wake up in the middle of the night to change her and feed her. I'd rather sleep. On top of that, I'd rather go shopping with her. HAHAHA!

I was talking to Sally, one of our best friends and she was telling me how her kids, who are both preteens, fuss and fight and are at that stage where they test the waters. She hates that they do that. But you know what, I love kids that age. And they seem to enjoy me. Look at my niece. I hate to toot my own horn, but I'm sure she'd say I'm pretty awesome to be around (LOL! right Eli?). And just as an example, Bri and Cesar (Sally's kids) enjoyed themselves a lot a lot, making pizzas and just being free here at my house. hahaha. I love them this age. If they want to be smart asses, I can put them in their place. That's all I'm saying. I have no control over Maya. She's just a baby. Maybe that's why it's not fun. I gotta be in control of errythang! Okay, I figured it out. That's my problem. I am a control freak. Maya isn't allowing that. Darn you little vampire!

BTW, why do I have a headache everytime I wake up from her fussing in the middle of the night? Will I ever get use to those sounds?

Oh and btw, a special shout out to Rhea - I tried the hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, except I had the salted caramel hot chocolate and GOD DAMN it was BAAANGING! Wooh. Delish. Made my headache go away and filled me up. Oh and gave me the urge to go poo. Why does coffee stimulate your bowels? I'm glad I'm not breastfeeding because Maya would be up all dang night after that drink!

So hate me if you want. I'm saying what everyone else feels but doesn't have the balls to say. Mandel (my OB) even said it to me. You just speak your feelings, other people hide it and feel an inner turmoil with those feelings but they are all normal and natural.

I'm happy to be honest. Shoot, I hope this blog helps my other pregnant friends see that if they sometimes feel an ounce of regret or they think it's effin hard, that they are totally normal as can be!!

Love and hugs to all.

Maya is still awake. I think I'm the champion. Kinda like Tyson, Holyfield, Pacman, who else? I won this battle hahahaha!