I feel it is appropriate to do so at 3am. With a sick vampire waking me up every night for a whole week almost (but it feels like a month), I deem it necessary to put down in paper, or what is considered a form of digital pen and paper. My feelings. Yes, I have them. I will take this time to express them. I do so, in advance, send my condolences to those who read this and never want to be my friend. Because you know what, eff you. It is my blog and I'm going to be honest. Now grab your balls and get ready for the ride. Eff balls, vaginas are tougher. Get your vaginas and suck it up, BITCHES! There, now that I've set my disclaimer, let us move forward.
I have to give myself credit, I don't feel like giving her up for adoption when she's sick and Cray. I actually feel a bit of sorrow, want to heal her, and make her normal. Normal to her. Not "normal" baby by some righteous standard. We all know, my kid is far from normal. In fact, even amidst this battle with this punk virus, she can find the energy to throw my phone across the living room, touch the ornaments on the tree and then when I tell her "pow pow," she starts with the fake tears "I cryiiiiiiiing." Boy, lord help me. Save my soul.
This reminds me so much of the newborn stage. But at least I knew it was either poop, food or a hug and BOOM! Back to sleep. This time it's just the unknown. A guessing game. I know she's sick but what hurts? I know my kid ain't no punk, or atleast I fool myself in saying that because she's a big bully to me. So I know she's trying hard to punk this sucka virus and punch it in the balls. Except when she's hot and crying. Then she's a big ol punk. And I look her in the face and tell her "listen kid. You look at this sickness in the face and tell it, 'your not the boss of me!'" Just kidding. I'm not mean. But dang, why does this punk ass virus gotta hit my kid though? I think I'm going to create a bubble for her like in the movie, "bubble boy." (Stupidest movie ever alert. That means don't rent it, borrow it, Netflix it, redbox it, ok? I warned you)
Side note: WTF why is San Francisco so bipolar. It is fuckin freezing.
Moving right along. I have to thank my husband who has endured this abuse with me. Every night she's up, he gets up with me. He consoles her, looks like the savior, and I'm the devil with the syringe full of medicine she doesn't want. "Noooooooo mediching!!!" She gets so angry she pukes. Drama llama? I think so.
So I'm reminded today that the sleepless nights never end. She will get sick and scream my name forever. At whatever age. As she gets older it might get easier. I might even just tell her "take your medicine" from the other room, and not get out of my warm bed. Ok I'm kidddinnnnnng, don't get upset people. But really, at every stage in life, I'm going to continue lacking sleep. Glad I've got my moms genes. She's aged gracefully. When she's out partying and decides to not come home, I'm going to be awake. And ready to beat her down with a belt. When she's 21 and out clubbing, I'm going to be up worried, and then when she gets home hammered, tuck her in, with a garbage next to her so she barfs in the bucket. Then when she wakes up, tell her "see I told you you'd be sick, bruta!" And then when she finally moves out, ill be awake, missing her. Waaaaaah. That's sad to think of. I love my little vampire. I hope she gets better soon. I like her running around like a chicken with no head. Although I do enjoy the snuggles, but crazy vampire is so superior to boring baby. Yes my kid is special and if you have a boring baby, sucks to be YOUUUUU.
The end. The house is back to sleep except me. I'm having a hard time typing this on my phone and keeping my eyes open. On that note, I will check out myself. See you guys in 2 hours. She's like clockwork, and will be up again wanting to come to our bed. Am I the only parent that forbids my child from sleeping here? I am not trying to have a huge 10 year old sleeping with us. That's just cray. Ok I'm going cray. If this needs editing, shut up. I'll fix it later. I am seeing double like I'm drunk. Too, tired, to, think.
Good night. From a mother who had an epiphany at 3am
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