This morning, on my mission to get healthy, my alarm went off like clockwork, and I got up to exercise, shower and clean up a bit before Maya woke up. Well, clumsy me, while I was picking up clothes off the floor, I bent down and hit my forehead right smack on the corner of the dresser. I saw stars, lights, flickers, my life flashed before my eyes. Ok, no it didn't but I felt like I was going to pass out. I stood still and held my head as the knot formed into a huge egg on my head. I didn't scream, I didn't move, instead, I tried my best to not pass out. I was afraid that if I fell to the ground, no one would know, and Maya would be in danger.
I was able to keep moving and shower and finally Maya woke up. I dressed her, fed her, and tried to entertain her, but I was dizzy like no other. So as I try and make me something simple to eat, I feel the urge to vomit, and yet still see sparkles in my vision. My mom happened to call because we had an errand to run and I told her I don't think I was in any capacity to drive.
After hanging up with her, I stood there and began getting teary eyed. How am I going to watch a baby, when I need help? What do I do? Martin called and I fell apart. Told him I was so dizzy, my head was pounding and I wanted to sleep.
As I cried my eyes out on the bed, Maya stared at me with conviction as though she knew something was wrong with her mami. She fussed a little and I prayed it was because she was tired. I took her to her bed, and she lied down, no fight, and fell asleep. It's like she knew that I needed her to give me a break. She felt my pain, she felt my need for rest. I was so amazed.
But I couldn't sleep because I was scared of not waking up.
Anyway, finally saw an MD and I of course, gave myself a concussion.
As I sit here, with half my head in pain, icing it, I remind myself that there is a person in this world, one little small person, with the biggest heart full of love JUST FOR ME! Me! I am so special to Maya, that even in her young age, she can love me enough to try and take care of me as well. What an amazing thought!
It's hard to put into words what an epiphany it was for me today, but I know now that Maya and I have a connection all our own. No one will ever understand it. Just like I have a connection with my Mami. Life without my Mami is just unimaginable. I'm sure Maya will feel the same way one day.
Oh yeah, she's still a vampire. She loves to bite me now. I think it's her way of kissing me, but her daddy says otherwise. He's just a hater.
Enough of this computer. My eye might explode!
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