Easy peasy

Scoreboard

Maya 7

Momma 5 (right? I lost count)

It's working. I do think our battle is over. We have changed her internal clock so that she sleeps at night and is up more throughout the day. We did of course, have a little battle yesterday, but like I said, if you have more people over that are willing to help you keep them up, it makes the battle more tolerable. Especially if they scream "weeeeeepaaaaa!" real loud to get the party started in Maya's head. I swear she was up trying to party with the rest of us and watch the darn fight. Maybe she was getting tips from Pacman on whooping ass because she sure as hell whoops her own ass if she isn't in the death swaddle.

So she stayed awake the entire time, and finally zoned out at 830 or so. I tried to feed her but she was so exhausted, she wasn't having any of the bottle. At least I had gotten a clean diaper on! Woot woot!

I went to bed at about 10pm despite having company over. Sorry guys, but I gotta take advantage of her sleeping or I'll regret it later. I couldn't sleep. Instead, I kept sitting up, then lying back down, then sitting up, then looking at her, all this time contemplating waking her up to feed. I kept having an inner debate and telling myself "Should I wake her? She might be hungry. But if I wake her, and it's party time in Maya's head? ..... oh dear Lord no. I can't wake her. She might have needed that nap and will be up til tomorrow. Oh heavens, but she's starving. I know she is. But what if I'm lucky and she sleeps through the night and I just ruined my only opportunity to sleep 8 hours straight? Who am I kidding, she is a starving Somalian baby and will be up like clockwork to eat!" And back to bed I went and tried to get some shut eye.

And just ...... like ...... clockwork, she's up to feed every 4 hours throughout the night.

So my first tip to everyone is: DON'T HAVE KIDS if you like your sleep and freedom. It's your murder sentence, life in prison with no chance for parole.

My second tip is, don't listen to every mother fucker, I mean, every mother out there with their million tips. Actually let's add, look at the mother and child relationship. If they have some bad ass kid, then you definitely don't want to listen to that mother. In general, take tips from everyone, and do what works for you. But LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS!! I swear, OG mommas know what's up, especially MILs who've had a gazillion kids. Even if you don't get along with your mother in law, or you don't talk to her much, LISTEN TO HER! She knows what's up. So does your mother, but we all know our mothers know best. God bless my MIL, God bless America, God bless our troops, and God bless Maya for not being such a vampira anymore.

My third tip: If you have a schedule, stick to it until it works. Having company over makes it easier to handle a 6 weeker. Cuz you know, you get punked by your own child, let's be honest. So if others are keeping you company, that 6 weeker can't punk you all.

I'll think of more tips but for now, I leave you all with those.

Listen to my first tip though. That's the most important one. I don't care what anyone says "OMAGAAAA BEING A MOTHER IS THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!" Naaah nukka, it's fucking hard, it kicks your ass, you sometimes hate your child, and sometimes wonder what the hell you got yourself in to. It is NOT the best job in the world. Actually, no job is the best job. Who on earth likes to work? I am still trying to win the lottery here. So don't listen to those liars. If your lazy, and already hate your job, then being a mom is the last thing you need to be. hahaha. Ok, I will stop talking crap. But for real, consider yourself stuck like chuck when you have a baby.

Oh and that concoction her pediatrician recommended, it's working. She's doodoobombing every other day now and not constipated. Now if she could give me a dookie diaper daily, I'd be a happy mother.